Meet George from The Good{Expat}Life

1. What is your real, birth name?  George Horatio Nelson – I know, my mother thought it would stand me in good stead… how wrong can someone be? Don’t tell Penny that I've revealed my middle name, will you?
2. Do you have a nickname? Well, not really. Penny calls me lots of things, especially when she’s angry. Mostly she refers to me as l’uomochifa the man who does, or who will do as Penny reminds me. She’s very organised.
3. What do you look like? One woman where I worked thought I looked like George Clooney. No, honest she did! Penny said that the resemblance stopped with the name George… but I know she’s teasing me.  
4. How do you dress most of the time? Well, it depends what I’m doing. If I’m strimming (which I do a lot) it’s usually a pair of thin cotton trousers with an elastic waist (cheap buy from the supermarket), an old white t shirt usually with remnants of the last strim, an old cut sock on my arm (the strimmer motor burns it) and a hat (or if I’ve forgotten it, a clean pair of underpants – much to Penny’s disgust.)
5. How do you "dress up?"  Erm, I wear a shirt usually on the top half. Penny likes me in pastels, pink and lilac.
6. How do you "dress down?"  Erm, shorts usually (isn’t that what all men wear “down” or trousers?) too early in the year say our Italian neighbours, they are still in their puffa jackets until mid-July.
7. What do you wear when you go to sleep?  Nothin’ usually, the odd cat around my neck, who doesn’t stay there long. I like ‘skin to skin’ but Penny insists on wearing some kind of nightwear. Just in case. Of intruders or such like. So she says…
8. Do you wear any jewellery?  My wedding ring. I did try an ear stud many years ago, but Penny was not impressed. I thought it was very ‘George Michael’.
9. In your opinion, what is your best feature?  Definitely not my hair. Definitely Penny.
10. What's your real birth date?  I’m 59 years young. I’m sure you can work it out. We have a big double 0 birthday next year. Penny wants to ignore it, but it’s time for a celebration don’t you think? Perhaps I can persuade with a list. She loves lists.
11. Where do you live?  In a very small house with very large grounds. Large enough to hide from Penny and her lists. (I do love her tho’ and she does get things done… with my help of course).
12. Do you own a car?  Yup. But don’t want to talk about the front wing. Penny!
13. What is your most prized mundane possession?  My strimmer of course. Used to use a hand scythe and I still have it. Its handle was made by Pietro, the old guy who lived here. He made all his tools and I have them all.
14. What one word best describes you? Obedient?  

Until Later, 

Meet Penny from The Good{Expat}Life

Last week I introduced one of the projects I’m working on. Today I've interviewed one half of the two characters, Penny.

1. What is your real, birth name? What name do you use? My father was so disappointed that I wasn't a boy he insisted I was called Phyllis and he could shorten it to Phyl. *sigh* I blame my father for a lot of things, my love of lists, my total non-interest in politics and for wanting me to wear the trousers. I've been known as Penny since the day I was teased at school about having a boy’s name.

2. Do you have a nickname? What is it, and where did you get it? George loves to call me poppet. Usually when he’s done something wrong and he’s trying to butter me up, but it never works. He sings this song about being a poppet and wishing I was small enough to put in his pocket. I know, he’s special… well he has special needs anyway.

3. What do you look like? George would say that I look like Goldie Hawn and every time I look in the mirror I close my eyes and picture myself with long blond locks, large eyes and a smile to die for. Instead I probably more resemble Mrs Brown. But George says I put myself down and who am I to argue?

4. How do you dress most of the time? I’m still wearing clothes that we bought in the UK and all of the power shoulder jackets, smart shirts and skirts that are impossible to garden in have been shredded for one use or another. Usually a pair of shorts (an old pair of George’s that are fraying at the edge) and a grubby t-shirt. Italian clothes are made for much more ‘petite’ figures. As George says I have ‘big bones’. 

5. How do you "dress up?" See Answer to Question 4

6. How do you "dress down?" See Answer to Question 4

7. What do you wear when you go to sleep? See Answer to Question 4 but replace the shorts with boxers.

8. Do you wear any jewelry? What is jewelry? I wear a copper bracelet but it usually turns my skin green. Great for aching fingers tho'.

9. In your opinion, what is your best feature? My big feet, they ensure that I don’t topple over. I’m tall and would look stupid if I had small feet. My father, however, used to sing ‘Can’t love ya cos your feets too big’. See what I mean?

10. What's your real birth date? 29 February So I’m at least a quarter of the age I should be. Is that right? Never was good with maths…

11. Where do you live? In a small (very tiny) casa shared with two dogs, nine cats, a couple of chickens and the odd (tailess) lizard, courtesy of the cats.

12. Do you own a car? Erm, I think it’s silver, quite large and has a few dents in the front wing. That was not a good day, George was most cross but how is one supposed to guess where a concrete post that can’t be seen really is?

13. What is your most prized mundane possession? Why do you value it so much? A very battered Filofax from my days as a proper employed ‘executive’. I know… you wouldn't believe it would you? But it’s handy for keeping lists in. Have I told you I love lists? George on the other hand…

14. What one word best describes you? Tolerant (as long as things are done my way)

Next week we'll talk to George...

Character Interview: Penny

I've decided to start some character interviews - from my several works in progress, just to see if I can represent them as standalone and hopefully not too cliche... this is the first...

Name: Penny but George (see third question) insists on calling me Poppet.

Title of the book you appear in: The Good Life - a light-hearted romp about emigrating to Italy

Married: Yes, to George

Children: No, I am immature enough and George just wouldn't cope. We do have a Springer Spaniel called Hector though.

Job: In between them at the moment and not sure if I'll ever have a proper job again!

Favourite Music, Song or Lyric and why: Its Raining Men because wouldn't that just be wonderful? As long as they weren't all like George. Maybe a little George Clooney mixed with a spoonful of Brad?

What happened on the day you were born: The world rejoiced… no it snowed and it snowed an it snowed and my little brother had a hissy fit and wanted me to be sent back. He still feels like that a little still today...

Do you have a hobby: No, I try many things, mostly diets and exercise but honestly none of them work. Oh, wait probably eating cakes, with cream… and chocolate. No wonder I can't fit into that dress…But when we get to Italy I'm gonna have to learn how to grow vegetables, because George says we're going all self-sufficient. I always thought I was?

What is the one thing people don't know about you: I used to be a ballet dancer. Honest! Up until I was around thirteen then I was thrown out when I got too tall for the leading man to pick me up. That's tall not fat. And I get blisters if I do the ironing.

Are you organised or do you fly by the seat of your pants: Well, I love making lists. For George that is. He doesn't like them but I tend to find if I highlight all the outstanding items at breakfast he gets on with it. And I like crossing them off once finished in red pen. I blame my father.

Who would you invite to a last supper : Sarah McGillican (comedienne), John Carter (out of ER) and the Dowager Countess from Downton.

What would be on the menu: Onion Bhajis, Steak Salad and Chips, Profiteroles and lashings of red wine.

Marmite - Love it or Hate it: Love it only if it's spread on hot buttered white toast and eaten within seconds